This is getting to be soooo frustrating.

Perhaps if I write down my frustrations they will seem a little easier to deal with.

Nappies, potty training, dry bed at night are all things we mothers strive for, almost like an ongoing competition between parents. The hot topic of conversation seems to be "is your child dry during the day and night?" Proudly I can say, Raphael IS completely dry during the night....being in a big bed and newly decorated bedroom helped him and me tremendously during this transition. We have had absolutely no wet beds at all, nearly 5 months later. Great I thought, now we just have to tackle our little problem of "total dryness during the day" You see, Raphael intermittently wets and dirties his pants. I have managed to identify that he certainly regresses badly if he has a cold, wetting nearly every time AND pooing (sorry) in his pants too! I have tried getting angry, delivered punishments, promised rewards, reminded him constantly to go to the bathroom, (but I think that had an adverse effect resulting in a major power struggle between us). I have tried ignoring it, staying calm and just hopping the situation would improve. The list goes on, some days I absolutely despair and end up in tears!

Eric is a lot less patient with Raffi than I am and won't tolerate wet pants, raises his voice and tends to punish him loudly. He sayes I am too 'soft' with him but in my defence, I hate confrontation and the resulting tantrums and sulks that follow. Raphael is a stubborn lad, I also think he is 'lazy'...playing is far more fun than peeing!

In desperation I scoured the Internet for answers, putting in a search for 'wetting pants at 5 years old' (he will be 5 in 4 months). It would seem that I am not alone, lots of mums with similar pee happy kids! A couple of suggestions caught my eye and I shall try them. A reward chart and talking to him about wearing nappies at school!

I also discovered this wonderful site on my travels around the net, know to many around the world..

http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/The-Reward-Chart.aspx

a very well organised site with masses of reading material.

Today I am starting the reward chart. I talked to Raphael and pointed out that he is NOT a baby and would not be wanting to go to 'big' school in nappies! He agreed and also suggested that as part of his reward, he could write his name. He really loves writing letters, this could be a good tool to use.

Raphael is now tucked up in bed after a hugely busy day. This morning after a fun hot bath and cuddles and fun with dad we all went to the local 'Car Boot Sale'. The sun shone and I was on a mission to find stickers and rewards for Raffi's impending dry days!

A happy Raffi returned from the Car Boot Sale with a reward chart calendar AND Sponge-Bob stickers, he was so excited. I sat him down and explained that if he continued to have dry pants for the remainder of the day until 7.00 pm bedtime he would be rewarded with a sticker of his choice. He just could not wait until 7.00, he kept asking me what time it was.

Mid afternoon Eric took over and joined Raffi at the table to do his weekly homework. He is always thrilled on Friday's at his nursery school when he is handed his 'work' for the weekend. This week was ladybirds. Colouring, cutting, sticking and chat about ladybirds in general. I love to see his enthusiasm when he is searching for the words to explain his thoughts. I also love the fact that Eric enjoys craft with him so much, they get very close.

Eventually the time came and we sat at the table with his stickers. I explained to him that if he earnt 4 more stickers he would get one of the larger rewards he had chosen earl er at the boot sale. He understood fully what I was saying, it pleased me alot that we had reached bedtime with the same underpants on. Here's a happy mummy. WELL DONE RAFFI. We have all had a super day. Lets see if it will last.

Raphael's Reward Calendar

Finally, the first Paeony in our garden, beautifully vibrant, love them.

It's tough being 4 years old!

Raphael's Pet Spider

Yesterday, Raffi and I went shopping and (against my better judgement) came home with an " Explorers Kit" complete with insect net and plastic containers for bugs! Now, I am not a huge fan of bugs and my least favorite are the spiders! Imagine my horror when Raffi found a spider in the kitchen this morning and asked Daddy to put it in the bug thingy! Daddy obliged and Raffi gleefully shoved it in my face to look at whilst I was trying to eat my morning toast!

His fascination for this creature was amazing, he has no fear just curiosity about this lively spider. We even put some leaf inside for him to nibble!

I did become a little concerned when I later spotted the said container upside down on the side with the air holes covered. I quickly righted it and went about my jobs.

It was time to go out, poor Raffi was unaware he was going to the doctors for 2 vaccinations. He happily got ready to go out (which is highly unusual) I had told him that we would be visiting the supermarket and I would be buying something nice for him. Little did he know of what was to come.

Raphael and I waited a good 40 minutes in the GP surgery amongst the cutest of babies....all waiting for the same thing! When it was our turn, the nurse was lovely, Raffi flinched only slightly and never made a murmur during his jabs. He did inform me afterwards "the nurse hurt me" and I have to say he was a little grumpy going round the supermarket, but that was understandable but I had promised him something nice.

Nightmare time when we arrived home, bad news, the young spider had passed away. Raffi was distraught and cried his little heart out. Nothing would console him. The dead spider lay in a ball on the floor. Raffi had taken the lid off and he had fallen out.

I whisked him away, and disposed of him compassionately. The only thing I could do for the poor boy was to remind him how lucky we were that we had taken photographs. He liked that idea and relaxed after that.

I think the trauma of the immunisations and the loss of his spider were very big things to him in his short little life. It made me sad that he was so sad about his loss.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day for him, we won't be catching bugs that's for sure!

Raphael's Social Calendar........................ Melany's Party - MONKEYBIZNESS, HULL and Jacks's party at home.

For the last few days Eric (Raphael's Daddy) has been away but today, he came home.

Raffi has had a busy weekend starting on Friday with his FIRST invitation to a birthday party. I think I was more excited than him! Friday is his full day at the nursery school and I knew he would be tired on his return home.

I planned carefully, made sure he had plenty to occupy himself on his return home, giving him a plateful of high energy food, including chocolate. Chocolate seems to have a "hyper effect" on Raffi, he goes 'crazy with energy', perfect for the evening ahead!

Eric was catching the evening ferry from Hull but could join us at the party.... held at Monkey Bizness, for an hour before he had to be off.

Raffi had bought Melany a baby pushchair and a doll to go with it.... we struggled to wrap it!

Monkey Bizness is situated on the top floor of St Stephens, we discovered it was extremely difficult to find exactly where to park! We had no idea where the car park was and became dangerously close to being late!

Raffi stayed quiet and still whilst we struggled with the one way system through Hull to the correct car park (usually we would park in Tesco's but not if we arn't shopping there).

Parked and calm again, we asked directions to the party place... out the building....turn left...Oh no a lot of walking! We got there eventually. Wish we had know where the entrance was. Its next to Next haha!!..... right next to the Paragon Interchange.

Wow this is some place, PERFECT for the age group... 4 to 5. Raffi loved every single minute and positively didn't want to leave the play area to eat the birthday tea.

He had a wild wonderful fun packed time, the complex had several areas with a large eating section. The place was warm and not to large, Raffi had a lot of fun.

I found I was too big to get easily around the climbing area, he was to quick for me, in the end I just stood and watched him having so much fun with all his friends from the nursery. How much joy it gives me when he is having fun.

My camera by my side I took lots of pictures. I had reverted to my Sony Cybershot for the party. I got some satisfying photos!

Food time and I was a little surprised to see ALL frozen food, absolutely nothing fresh. The children had no complaints though and enthusiastically tucked into sausages, pizzas, curly fries and chocolate cake and sweets.

Now I could be wrong and the parents may have ordered this menu?? But I am sure as a large Spanish party host they would have enjoyed a sumptuous menu for their little birthday princess. The Spanish love their food as do the Lebanese... Raffi is of Lebanese blood.

The highlight of the party, for Raffi, was the moment a life size monkey walked round the corner and joined the party!! All the children gazed at this large monkey......none of the children cried, a usual occurrence at these sort of parties, but not today. The children whooped and clapped with glee!! Raffi raced forward and managed to get prime position, at the front and next to Melany. I did not realise he had mischievous thoughts, the little monkey started poking the big monkey! At one point the big monkey was in danger of loosing his trousers to over excited children lol! Great fun watching!

I noticed around the place, bean bags for little tiny tots to sit in and sofas for the mums to relax in and "mind the bags"!

Eric left for his ferry and Raffi and I continued to enjoy this great place. I will definitely take Raffi there again......next time I shall travel by bus, and probably take one of his friends.

*Thanks to Melany's Mum, Isobel* What a great idea for a children's party.

I negotiated with Raffi for some time whilst he decided whether to put his coat on!!! Then refusing to hold my hand we re tracked our footsteps for the long walk back to the car. I know he was tired, I just wanted to get him home into bed.

We made it to the car and I managed to get out of the car park - its, oh so narrow when you swing round to exit past the barrier, BEWARE!

Saturday and Raffi was looking forward to his second party of the weekend. Fancy dress, at home and another friend from his local nursery school. Raffi loves dressing up for every occasion and we had, the previous week gone and bought a "Ninja Outfit" for our young ninja! he looked a treat!

I like home parties, from a mums point of view they are HARD work, but traditional and much more personal. Your house becomes a riot house of young children! All good fun if your stress levels don't blow. From a child's point of view, you get to play in your friends house, AND meet his or her mum, you get to eat LOTS of party food and play games with prizes! You mostly get balloons and a party bag.

Raphael had huge amounts of fun, managing to get covered in white emulsion paint, tearing his costume in half during a 'battle' and have sauce and chocolate smeared on his face. Lots of smiles, who can scold a happy child?

*Thanks Jack's mum, Nicki* Raffi had a BALL!!

The 2 styles of party were very different, I haven't actually asked Raffi which one he liked best. It seems unfair for me to ask him to compare as I KNOW he enjoyed them both immensely.

In money terms, if you are counting the pennies, its far cheaper to party at home but if you can afford the luxury of this sort of "made" party I would definitely recommend it, just for me I would look at the menu closely before committing.

Raffi slept restlessly Sunday night, surfacing next to me in the double bed in the middle of the night. He was complaining of cold (I later discovered that it had been the coldest night), it was 4.00 am, I felt sorry for him so let him stay and snuggled up to him smelling his hair and touching his skin. I was missing Eric and it was lovely to lay with him sleeping next to me. He woke a few hours later and we spent a very lazy Sunday watching movies and playing together.

Eric arrived home in the very early hours of the morning, I was glad to see him, so was Raffi when he eventually saw him after his nursery school session Monday morning. How lovely to see the pair of them laughing together in the front seat of the car. Raffi squeezed and cuddled him for an age still sitting in the front seat (we are stationary), I struggled to get him into the back car seat.....used the usual bribery tricks..nothing worked for me, eventually Eric talked to him and he jumped into the back seat with enthusiasm... obviously with thoughts of something exciting to come!

He's in bed now, glad to have his daddy back where he belongs. So am I.

Life and events move so quickly, Raffi will be starting school in September, so he has not got too long left in his current nursery. His little life is full of learning, he is showing so much interest in things. His curiosity is amazing. His manner of questioning and his intent listening of the answer deeply touches me. He looked at a picture of Eric and I for a long time today and asked "is that Beirut mummy?" No honey that is Canada "What happened then mummy?" - I glossed over the history, moving to England, buying this house, etc etc (there is a lot) and then he thoughtfully said "we are a happy family, mummy, daddy and raffi", that made me smile, our little boy has the right idea, I hope it continues.

Thanks for reading a little fun, emotion and happiness :-)

Written by Sue-Raphael's Mum

Milk, Milk and More Milk!

Time to give the bottle up Raffi!

Raphael is 4 years 4 months, and I think its about time to give up the bottles of milk he so eagerly slurps every night and morning!

Bedtime has never been a problem, I know I am fortunate, many are not. Raffi, bang on 7.00 pm will ask for his milk and to go to bed.

In the past, he would have taken his bottle with him upstairs and snuggled into bed with it and Tigger (his fav sleep toy) until his eyelids dropped and the bottle was finished.

Ok, wondeful until he starting falling asleep with a half full bottle that eventually leaked all over the pillows!!

We have talked about having milk in a cup at bedtime instead of his bottle but he wasn't that enthusiastic.

So all ready for bed, just out from his bath, skin sparkling clean.

"Mummy can I have my milk now?"

"Shall we have it in a cup...the Mickey Mouse one?"

.............silence.

"How about you have 2 straws?",

.....thinking thoughtfully

Yes pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease mummy!!

Phew! I needed no more encouragement.

Sneakily I got my camera out..

I need a bit of help with these straws mum!

Giving it super concentration
Oh no! She has her camera out!
Better show her my tongue then!
That was fun..but I still like my bottle!

We have managed for a week now with only one relapse, he was having a "sad" day on that particular day and really wanted his bottle.

But Raphael knows that,

*If Idrink my milk I will grow big enough to ride my big brothers bike!*

Written by Sue-Raphael's Mum